Only know that because Artie reminded me last week. Like drug addict in recovery, like drunk in program–except when I fall, others do, too. Fell tod...y. Quiet parts of me ask ‘Why?’, louder parts ask ‘When next?’. Locked in middle is me and body of suspect in most recent job. Body is innocent. Found out two minutes ago. Ten years. Three months. Two minutes. Half-second. Body and me sitting on bench in Macall Bridge Park, all the time in the world. Make no excuses, tell no tales, no shifting. I had 2-3 hours to myself every day before anyone else came home and, being the horny girl that I was, I spent a lot of that time masturbating. Using my fingers to get myself off was nice, but got boring after a while. And I fucked myself with many different implements that were handy. Back when I was a teen there was no internet (yeah, I’m that old...ha!) and there wasn’t any way for a girl my age to buy vibrators or dildos. So I used things like cucumbers, bananas, hair brush handles, big. Slowly looking toward Ken-Gi I could see he too was covered by someone with a rifle just as I was. The girls were dragged kicking and screaming out of the tent by the remaining individuals. A quick count told me there were at least eight of them, maybe more outside of our camp keeping watch. Each girl was rolled onto her belly, a short rope with a loop at one end was placed over their head so the loop tightened snug; their arms were pulled back to the small of their back where their wrists were. It got to the point where I felt he either wasn’t listening to what I was saying or didn’t care how I felt. At a point I got fed up and said it’s over. I fell into thinking it was probably for the best. We had fun, we did some crazy things. Ok, out of my system, time to be good, move on, focus on my family. Maybe put it behind me and pretend it never happened.I found at first it was pretty easy to do that. Winters here are long and cold and don’t exactly make me feel frisky. What I found, quite.
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